story of iman!

thank you.

2011-06-19T03:14:00.001-07:00

Sorry..

Sorry cuz I didn’t know that it is so hard for u just to ask “how r u. Are u still mad at me? Don’t be ok? Settle down please. I miss you. ”

I know and I’m glad that ur cool. Unlike other people’s boyfriend who easily gets jealous but sometimes it makes me wonder do u really love me. Cuz u doesn’t seem to be bothered at all when I went out or talk on the phone with other guy. I’m not asking u to be jealous but at least show some concern to me. Let me know that u care and love me.

U know that I am mad at u but ur acting like nothing’s wrong. Act cool that’s what u always said. The way ur acting as if I am talking to u but ur ignoring it. Im not really talking to u but ur not a moron till u couldn’t understand that im angry. What is so hard with that? Sometimes when ur acting strange in the car when ur tired. I asked u are u ok? Cant u see? I just don’t understand.

U r the most incredible I’ve ever met. Not just incredible by ur personality, responsibility, ability but also ur behavior. Ur so incredible in ignoring my feeling that’s how I feel. Thank you for making me happy and also thank you for making me angry. It may be small matter for you,but I did this dozens of time and everything is kept for so long and now its exploding. This is how I feel when I gather back all the angriness that u cause and u didn’t try to solve. Thank you.

Don’t you understand?

2011-06-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

Why does everytime i’m annoyed by you, you never bother to even ask why. I know you know how i’m feeling but why are you purposely act like nothing happen. Is it that hard just to ask why. I know you do not want to make things worse by bringing it up again but that makes me feel even worse. Sometimes i feel like neither my feeling or emotion is your concern. You may say that you’re acting cool but to me that is not cool at all. You make me feel angrier each time you act like you did nothing wrong.

I’m not being ridiculous but ur acting ridiculous. You always take things lightly. You never bother to take it to a deeper conversation. Have you forgetten the first song that i ever dedicated to you? I didn’t dedicate that song to you on purpose. You should read the lyric throughly. There are things that i want you to do through that song. Deeper conversation. What does that mean to you? I wanted you to always tell me everything that you feel, you think and i want you to ask. Take me there. Sometimes i feel like i wanna to turn back the time. To those old days where we were just getting together. You are so concern and hyper-sweet. Unlike now.i admit that you rare sweet sometimes but that is occasionally. I wanna to have the old you. Where are you. I need you.

Don’t you ever see nor understand?

apalah erti ini..

2011-06-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

Kadang-kadang aku x faham dengan lelaki. Adakah memang lumrah sewaktu baru berpacaran, semuanya indah tapi bila dah lama, kemanisan itu hilang? Kalau kita hendak mengekalkan hubungan kita, bukankah kita patut buang pemikiran yang sebegitu. Kadang-kala aku rasa cinta ini ibarat habis madu sepah dibuang. Mungkin ada yang kekal hingga ke akhirnya. Jika begitu Alhamdulillah tapi tidak kurang juga pada yang manisnya hilang di tengah jalan. Kalau waktu dulu boleh digelar “stalker” kerana selalu mengambil tahu perkembangan orang yang kita suka tapi sekarang “wall post” yang ada satu perkataan pun susah nak balas. Kenapa perlu jadi begitu.

Adakah terlalu susah untuk memahami apa yang difikirkan oleh kami kaum wanita. Kami wanita Cuma ingin menceriakan perhubungan. Kadang-kala suka bermanja. Kadang-kala suka bergurau senda. Tapi hati ini sering dilukai kerana tidak diberi perhatian dan tumpuan oleh pasangan. Kalau boleh, dalam 100% aktiviti seharian, 101% ingin aku laungkan bersama insan yang aku cinta. Tapi kenapa lelaki tidak merasakan benda yang sama. Apa yang mereka fikir cuma tidur, berseronok bersama kawan-kawan dan benda lain. Mungkin aku tiada tannggungjawab yang harus aku laksanakan sepertimu. Tapi sekurang-kurangnya, bila berpeluang meluangkan masa bersama, ambillah kesempatan itu untuk membuat pasanganmu gembira. Walaupun pertemuan hanya seketika, walaupun hanya 10minit, cubalah jadikan 10minit itu antara 10minit yang paling bermakna dalam hidup pasanganmu.

Kami kaum wanita tidak meminta wang ringgit untuk dibelanja, cukuplah sekadar berbual di depan rumah walaupun seketika. Mungkin kita tidak berpeluang berbuat demikian, jadi gunakanlah masa yang ada untuk bertemu dan manggembirakan hari pasanganmu itu dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Bukan hanya sekadar berjumpa. Masa berkualiti, perbualan berkualiti, aktiviti berkualiti yang dapat mengeratkan lagi kasih sayang antara orang yang kita kasihi.

Jika kau punya masa untuk berjumpa dengan aku, sekadar duduk di hadapan rumah dan dapat menatap wajahmu, itu sudah memadai. Sekiranya setelah kau membaca nukilan ini, kau ingin berjumpa dan hanya duduk dihadapan rumah, aku tidak akan memarahimu kerana bagiku itu sudah cukup.

Cuba kau fikir kembali waktu dulu, aku sering ke Kuala Lumpur sekiranya aku tidak punya kerja. Andai aku masih boleh berbuat demikian sekarang, kau tidak perlu mengeluh penat memandu untuk datng berjumpa aku kerana biarlah aku sendiri yang datang kepadamu. Pedulikan apa yang orang kata. Aku tegila-gilakanmu atau apa sekalipun, aku tidak peduli kerana di dalam hati ini hanya Allah saja mengerti betapa dalamnya cintaku terhadapmu.

MOTHER=IBU=MAK=MOM

2010-06-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

MY MOM..what i can say about my mom is that she speaks/nags/advice/tell story a lot with me n my siblings...she a great woman..says and night,she never know what is the meaning of tired.its never in her vocabulary.every single day, she'll wake up early in the morning, bathed my lil bro n sis..sent them off to school and came back home doing laundry,cook,housework including sweeps the floor.she did it everyday..my mom has a very strange but good type of doing her housework..when she cooks,she wont spill anything,carefully does everything to keep the kitchen clean.when she did her laundry, she will organize the color accordingly.if i hung it wrongly, she will take it out and put i where it should be..lol.when she sweeps the floor, she damped the edge of the broom to ensure nothing flies in the air and she'll use a piece of wet cloth to pick up the dirt.my mom..that her way..she did everything her own way.when i enter her house, i'll b very careful not to make any mess..there's hardly any dust..MY MOM..that's her..u see, what so great about her is that she is so great..Allah knows how great my mom is..what she's doing right now is a fight for us.a noble fight that has nothing to do with her or its not her problem to care about but she's in it.she's going back and forth for us..the fuel money and everything is put aside she she just does everything that she think is right..i love u mom if ur reading this..please don't cry in front of me..i can't see u crying..i just cant..its too painful to see u crying..may Allah always be next to u..

sacrifices part 1.

2010-06-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

today i spent the whole day with my love one..he did something stupid but funny..i was talking bout he hasn't gave me any surprise since we know each other till now..he always tells me what he's going to give me,buy 4 me and everything..its nice but sometimes the element of surprise is needed..lol..its not really a big deal...anyway, after that we walked and then we were in front of the S&J shop.then he told me that he's going into that shop,get me Shaun the sheep and he's going to surprise me..that is very silly but he really did that..i can see him from the outside..i was waiting and waiting till he come over and BAMM!! SURPRISE!! its silly but its rather sweet..thank u honey..he knows i was in the most critical stage of life so he tried he's best to make me smile 24/7..my fees was first paid by him..i said no..there is no need but he said back to me,its ok 4 him 2 do this now rather than in the future..it means i study now and settle everything now.thats what matter..my problem,he's my ear..he sacrifices a lot just 4 me...i'm thankful that i found him and that i'm with him.. thank u Allah..U closed 1 window but U gave me a door..

where is justice???

2010-06-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

did u know that we as children have no right to argue about our own shelter??we didn't ask to be born here on this earth and yet we have no right??where is the justice here...there is no justice in Malaysia's law..how can the court even say there is justice there??i don't understand..i just hope u guys who're reading this thing didn't experience the same thing as i did..its really painful though others may say i'm a tough girl..life is a huge theatre and we are the actors and actresses...

Enche AlehSAlahuddIn MUHD

2009-12-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

Enche Aleh

SAlahuddIn MUHD

hmm...idk why i feel like typing out what i'm feeling ryte now...emmm...you just went back...God knows how much i miss you...i couldn't stop thinking bout u..i cant sleep..i'm probably a weird person to be writing at 0339am..but i know no matter how weird i am you will alway love me...sayang..eventhough just now u acted normally like ur not angry at me..deep down in your heart i know there is an anger hidden under the smile..im sorry for being selfish for not letting you go..for making you raise your voice..i really am..but..i dont know how to say this...i really hated seeing you go...i really thank you A LOT for still making some effort to spend more time with me eventhough ur rushing to head back to KL with ur friends..i'm sorry to brought you into this circumstance..ur caught in between ur promise u made to ur friends and my despairness..i mean no sympathy from you but when ur here next to me,time flies non stop...its too short..not enough for..i know it wont be enough forever..what i can is to hope that u could stay a lil longer..sayang..thanks for all those sacrifices you made all this while...i really appreciate it.i really do.its just that i dont know how to show it..as much as im not certain how to show u how much i love you...what i can do is to say everything here...but u..it obvious..every1 in the world can see how big is ur love to me..all those sacrifices u made to me whenever im in trouble,im sad,how far u travel just to come and visit me,i dont think that i could pay you back..thank you alone wont be enough..i really love u..i cant afford to lose you...ur the reason im breathing today...ur the reason of my life...sayang..i trust u..i've been in a relationship b4..some says promises sometimes r meant to be broken but i hope this phrase is not in ur book..dont ever leave..i really need u..i realise it since our fist conversation about my choice between matriks or uitm..i realise something in u that didnt exist in other guy..ur patience,..its beyond my expectation...my action just now,not to provoke y but its unintentional..really..i dont know what i was thinking..im just afraid of losing you..i really2 love you..God know how much i love you..

a return PART II??

2009-12-07T07:03:00.000-08:00

i went off for a vacation with my mom to hong kong n just got back...i could put my mind at ease there but only for a little while cuz when i'm back its all still in a mess...not trying to run away but i'm sick of thinking about it all the time when it's ryte b4 my eyes..its irritating...

hmmm...idk how i should talk to...he terlebih BIJAK thats y his life became like this...he only think about himself n dat bitch and the daughter of her n the son...myne he kene black magic kot...i've seen that bitch texting my mom...bodoh pye bitch..kalau dah bitch tu mmg bitch jgk la...p mampoih buang...merosak rumah tgga org...SHABANI BITCH..Intan konon...blah la wey...nama hang shabani...cam bodoh...

A return??

2009-11-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

woow...its been a while since i went to uitm n i didnt got the chance to update my blog as often as before..now i'm back in penang hoping to see gud things happening around here but it turns out the other way around...i heard a bad news actually..i was thinking about telling my boyfriend but i dont want to burden his thought with my probloem.i'm a big gurl n this is the kind of obstacles that i have to face myself.not by relying on him...sayang...i know i've changed your life a lot.not just that,i gave u trouble a lot too...sometimes i dont want to tell you but the way i acted towards u made you realized bout something is wrong which u made me spill the bean...and i have no choice but just to tell you the truth...sometimes i keep things away from youand at the same time i just couldn't bare lying to you...i caused u a lot of trouble,and ur expenditure are not like when ur single cause u have to spend on me..i'm sorry honey..i really didnt mean to burden u..and all those tears that u saw...maybe from the outside i look happy...u see,sometimes in life we have to be a gud actor..acting in the opposite way is just to cover all the bitterness in my life..what i'm going through ryte now is not experiance by everyone...sometimes i envy you coz ur life are so perfect..unlike mine...there are somethings that i'm not telling you ryte now but sooner or later you'll find out...i really2 love u sayang...thanx for being the light in my dark despair...

most scariest experience.

2009-08-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

i can still remember the date which is last 18 august, 1 of the most scariest thing ever happened right before my eyes... As usual we will be having cocuriculum every Tuesday and every Tuesday we will have nigth market in UiTM too. Last Saturday when we have the replacement couriculum activity, I and my friends didn’t go and we’re not sure where we should gather. By the time we reached there, we heard people were talking that it is suppose to be at the parking lot. With no hesitation, we rushed there and reached there after a few minutes. Suprisingly, whem we reached there, we couldn’t find our group. It happens to be that our group are gathering at the field which means we have to turn back to where we started. So, we walked damn fast because we were late.

We don’t want to be punish because of silly mistakes. Then my boyfriend called me. As we were talking, I noticed that there was a motorbike going down the hill road near the Art and Design Faculty. She was so damn fast and all of the sudden POMMM!! The motor hit a girl who is walking right in front of our eyes. Me and my friends saw the accident right before our eyes. Can you imagine how hard she was hit until my boyfriend who is on the phone with me could hear it. He was like what the hell was that noise.Me and my friend startled but my other friend rushed to her and held her. She was unconcious by that time. I don’t know what to do to help her because I cant think when I’m in shock.
Then people started looking and approaching. They asked us to bring her to the side of the road which means we have to carry her. I was scared. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do because she was hit hard and I’m afraid if there’s broken bones. Then we still carry her to the side of the road. When we first held her she was still unconcious but then she started to make sound to tell that it hurts a lot. Her tears starting rolling down her cheeks.

Thank god there was a car happens to pass by there and voluteered to help sending her to the clinic. We carried her into the car and she was sent to the clinic. Then we proceed with our cocuriculum activity but I must say that I just cant stop from shivering. Even when we were marching, I’m still shivering. Its my first time seeing an accident right before my eyes. It was scary and as I could feel the pain. I started thinking about my life cause she was just a metre ahead and if we ran at that time, it coukd have been me or either one of my friends. Thank god we were safe.

seniority

2009-08-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

today we had a public speaking session during BEL class.and so,one of the public speakers happens to voice out what he thought of induction.he is a boy.i as a gurl shoul consider myself lucky for being a gurl.their induction is damn bad.but u see.until today i still can't see what does the induction do any good to anyone of us.its only burdening, torturing and wasting time.maybe cuz u dont know what type of induction that had been happening around here will lead u to wondering.here, the guys have to make fool of themselves just to get the senior's autograph.

for those who aren't lucky enough will be having their birthday celebrated with trash wash.how absurd.i just don't get it.why do they have to do such thing and wasting their energy cuz in the other hand,their energy would be usefull to help people who needs.if they say the induction's goal is so that the junior would be able to know their senior better,why can't they do it in a proper way.actually,frankly, i'm furious on behalf of my friends. they are human being too and they don't deserves to be treated that way.furthermore it would lead to grudge.dont u think so?

how faithful???

2009-07-23T05:56:00.000-07:00

im in love??am i??certainly...i think i finally found da right guy 4 me..he's really caring and so far i'm madly deeply in love with him..i really hope dat we could last 4ever...i'm not just saying this but i'm actually feeling it n experiencing it myself..he makes me feel safe whenever i'm with him..i know some of u guys out there know me very well and you guys perhaps might be saying or talking behind my back.."she's just saying this..we'll see how long she's going to last with this guy.."
but hye,i'm not that person anymore..i've been taking seriously in this type of relationship since last 2 years...its just that,that time i havent foiund my mr.right...but now i'm certain that he is the 1..the only thing that bothers me so much is that i'm scared of the word 'bored'..i'm persuing my study n he is working...i'm always worried if he ever gets bored with waiting 4 me...eventhough that we have no problem at all with our relationship,but every1 know that nothing can always stay perfect...i hope that we will be together 4ever..i really trust him n i hope that he trust me as well..trust n sincerity is very important in a relationship..honey....tengah curi bace blog kite kan..cenyum....hahaha...kiter tahu...kiter rindu n sayang awk sgt...ngeh3..
curi bace,curi bace..hahahaha...cenyum...keh3

1st Day as a U student!!

2009-07-04T04:19:00.000-07:00

today...1stday aku jd student UiTM...aku cm best...cm x best pon ader...
best sbb dapat mmber baru...environment baru....excited nk sambong blaja...dpt BF baru..keh3 =p
tp cm...ntah la...aku dah jmpe senior bilik aku..minta aku tukar2 katil la,ape la...lantak r..aku malas nk layan...aku uat kering je...lg d layan makin menjadi2...jgn ingat aku junior aku nk ikot ckp korang...yes aku respect korang SENIOR2 aku tp hak aku,aku tetap pertahankan...ni IPTA...public...bukan IPTS...so aku ader hak nk dok maner2 aku nk walaupon korang SENIOR aku...aku ttp cool je...ni IMAN la...jgn ingat aku ni kayu nk ikot telunjuk korang senior2 yg aku respect..terima kasih MALAYSIA..
so sekarang aku nk balik bilik,kite tgk ape diorang nk ckp kt aku n aper aku nk ckp kt diorang...thanx u yer..

pade org yg tersayang yg sedang membace,i ucapkan thanx you banyak2...sbb selalu ade utk i bila i tension especially mse orientation week...
you mmg bermakne sgt lm hidup i..kalu u de nk pujuk i,i rase i dah balik kot,xpon i lari dpd kolej..huhuhu
i sayang u sgt2...i janji i akn study elok2 pasni....
i janji i akn uat yg terbaik...bkn utk u,bkn utk i tp utk kite...
I REALLY2 LOVE YOU HONEY...U light up my life n give me hope to walk through this tough journey n i hope u will always b there 4 me...
UR MY EVERYTHING...I dont know how my life is going 2 b without u honey...dont ever leave me n dont ever cheat on me...

MUAHHHHXXXXX!!!I LOVE YOU!!!

M i in love???

2009-06-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

i don't know how 2 explain the feeling
but somehow now i know i'm missing him,
truly n madly,
is this wat we call love??the first time i met him,
i felt a strange feeling,
but its very comforting..

he makes me feel safe,
eventhough i dont really behave,
lol...hahaha
no more ideas..
my ideas was blocked by a customer...lol

mangkok pnya customer..
tanya banyak tp x beli pon..katoq bengong...

but watever it is..
i like dis feeling and i want to feel it again the next time i see him...
I
LOVE
YOU....

i know ur reading this honey..
i want you to know dat i'm starting to love you...

I THINK I LOVE YOU...

love some1...

2009-06-16T00:24:00.000-07:00

Cara Untuk Mengetahui Kamu Mencintai Seseorang...
12:Kamu bercakap dengan dia hingga lewat malam dan bila kamu tidur, kamu masih teringat padanya.
11:Kamu berjalan dengan perlahan sekali bila bersama dengannya.
10:Kamu rasa serba tak kena bila berjauhan dengannya.
9:Kamu akan tersenyum bila kamu mendengar suaranya.
8:Bila kamu memandangnya, kamu tidak nampak orang lain di sekeliling. Kamu hanya nampak dia...
6:Dia adalah segalanya yang kamu ingin fikirkan.
5:Kamu perasan kamu sentisa senyum apabila kamu memandangnya.
4:Kamu akan melakukan apa sahaja untuk membolehkan kamu berjumpa dengannya.
3:Semasa kamu sedang membaca ini, dalam fikiran kamu terbayang wajah dia sahaja.
2:Kamu begitu asyik memikirkan tentang dirinya sehingga kamu tidak perasan bahawa nombor tujuh hilang/tiada.
1:Kamu akan balik ke atas untuk memastikan adalah betul tiada no 7 dan kamu akan tergelak sendiri.

BUATLAH HAJAT KAMU SEKARANG. KAMU TAU APA YANG KAMU PALING INGINKAN.....*****HAMPIR.....!*****Poskan mesej ini kepada semua kawan anda dengan tajuk: 12 CARA UNTUK MENGETAHUI KAMU MENCINTAI SESEORANG*...Dan sesuatu yang baik akan berlaku malam ini....*Sekiranya tidak, kamu akan menyesalinya....

kemalangan di OLD TOWN WHITE COFFEE HOUSE...!!

2009-06-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

Nasib baik la aku ngan kawan aku ni baik ati kalu x mmg dah komplain habis-habisan la...mangkok ayun btol la...malang sungguh..ingatkan bakal dimalukan la tadi...
anda makan omega on toast n white coffee,dia cas smpai rm20...
mangkuk tol...kami terpinga2 la dah duit x cukup...huhuhu
mampos dok pikir...aku pon pg kdai sebelah tmpat aku kerja dulu...
minta pertolongan mmner aku...taw2 pg2 nk bayar dia kata silap kira selepas member aku tanya blik btol ka smpai rm20...warghhh...mangkok...
memalikan tol la...ayoyoyo
kemalangan tol sejak keja ni...wuwuwuwuwu

Pengalaman Bekerja Di England Optical Pada Hari Pertama....

2009-06-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

hari pertama aku bekerja sangat melucukan...boleh juga dikategorikan sbg kemalangan malang pada hari pertama bekerja...hahaha...kenapa aku ckp mcm 2...hahahasebenarnye sebab satu kemalangan yg melucukan dan memalukan telah menimpa diri aku...aku memang x menjangka boleh jd mcm 2...hehehe
jangan bengang k...mesti nk tahu aper yang telah terjadikan...jeng,jeng,jeng......
ha,memang memalukan kalu terjadi pada korang...korang patut bersyukur sebab korang mungkin x dapat pengalaman mcm ni tp aku yg x bernasib baik sebab dpt pengalaman mcm ni especially hari pertama bekerja...dgn rakan baru...environment baru..
memang malu gila woo...

nasib baik aku x menangis mase 2...kalu tidakkkkk...keh3
ha sebenarnyer,aper yg telah berlaku pada aku ialah aku telah berjaya memecahkan rekod pemecah kerusi pada hari pertama bekerja...baru 1st day keja dah bagi lingkup barang kat situ...kerusi yang aku duduk patah siot...crita dia mcm ni...aku sedang belajar mengira stock cermin mata kat situ jd aku pon cari satu pot yg cun untuk aku melabuhkan tirai dan duduk...dah duduk tu,best ke rasa sbb boleh sandar dan santai2...
tetibe aku rasa aku makin ke belakang...aku ingat kerusi 2 auto boleh adjust2...tetiba

PRANG KEDEGANG BOMKEDEBABONG

sume bunyi ader la...aku sedar yang aku kini duduk di atas lantai...hahaha...mahunye orang xdengar...semua orang pandang semacam je kat aku...rakan2 sekerja aku semuan kaku seketika...terkejut dgn ape yg berlaku...aku pon terpakse la buat muke selamber badak dan bangun dari tmpat kejadian dan ape lagi...cabut pg masuk stor la...malu...hahaha
cover muka ni...kang malu sume org tgk woo...kawan aku pun terpingan2 cari aku dan tanye ader luke x....aku agak kehairanan la sebab aku asyik fikir la aku ni berat sangat ke smpai boleh patah kerusi tu...aku pon suarakan suara hatiku kt rakan sekerje aku..
"iman berat sangat ke sampai patah kerusi tu..?"
pastu dengan selamber diowang ckp
"x...kerusi tu mmg rosak...dia bengkok...to xtawu plak smpai boleh patah..."

patah sungguh hati aku bila diorang ckp mcm 2..apesal la x bgtawu awal2...kalu x,xder la aku nk duduk bersila atas lantai tur...huhuhuhuhu
kesedihan betol la.....tp mmg kelakar gilew...aku ngan rakan2 aku lepas ketawa terbahak2 smpai mampos...ahahahahaha

i hate HIM!!!

2009-05-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

i know im not suppose 2 say dis cuz no matter wat he is still my ***
but the way he acted is not like 1...im not saying bad thing about him but thats da truth,...people keep thinking dat i'm the 1 who's bad...who wouldn't listen 2 him...but how can i do wat he want me 2 do if he never listen 2 wat i want him 2 do...its like he's getting rid of me slowly...little by little...or we can say the most polite way...but im his responsibility...not just me...my bro...my sis??its obvious 4 those people who's living near by...they can tell wats happening...they dont need me 2 tell them wats happening 1 by 1...

They can see it clearly every single day..live performance..i juz hate 2 admit dat he is my ***...if i were given choices i will definately will not choose him..i know wat ur going 2 say...no matter wat he is still my *** n i have 2 accept it but s i pointed juz now,its an 'IF'...i'm sorry *** but u 2 *** have 2 feel sorry 4 me n my siblings...we have nothing...u gave us nothing but loads of...god knows...its not that im being materialistic cuz if i do i will only think bout myself...but im not...

I was thinking bout my sis...she's the only 1 who is still schooling ryte now...i'm ok with myself ryte now cuz i can work already but she...pity her ***..
for those people out there..if u ever think ur unfortunate with wat u have,u should b..i know my case is not that bad but i'll will b worse 1 day...so,i talked 2 my ***...d only think dat left 2 do is dat his action....whether he want to think bout wat i said or he wants 2 neglet it...its up 2 him...if he still loves me n my siblings...he will understand n know wat 2 do...

N if he feels dat he's doing the right thing,he need 2 think twice cuz anything can happen in the future...i mean ,things between him n my *** can end up like dis,y not things between him n his *** **** cant end up d same way...unless if he's been withched by her...idk know bout that cuz...frankly since he ever with her,he's been so damn stupid n listen 2 watever she said...cuz i know my ***....how he's like...he instruct pple 2 do wat he said...he's not the type that do wat pple said...furthermore this woman is idk..old fashion type...trusting those witch doctor stuff...shaman stuff...seems 2 b religious but trusting such stuff???gimme a break..shut her a**...

Omg...she makes me hates her so much...not juz me...even now..all of the pple who agree with my ***'s decision 2 ***** her is feeling guilty 4 letting dat happen...stupid a**...they should have listen 2 me n my siblings..they should understand our feeling...the problem is dat,those pple make decision without putting theirselves in our shoes...now we're the 1 who have 2 face all these...hrrmmmmmm

idk how my life,hows our life is going 2 b like...
i leave it in god's hand...i'll juz do wat i think is ryte..of cos with pple's opinion 2...but..idk how 2 say it...its 2 complicated...hurmmm....i never talked bout this 2 any1...cuz idk how 2 say it...or i cant even say it...scared i might burst in tears...well...i think i'll juz have 2 b strong...or even stronger...wait...i m strong..dats y i have d guts 2 talk 2 him...no 1 in this family had ever try 2 talk 2 him...i'm the only 1 who push him about this thing..if i didnt,we might lost everything,n wen we argue bout it,he will always say "i didnt know...u guys never talk 2 me bout it"...SHUT UP...

farewell party!!!!

2009-05-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

Emmm...setelah masanye tiba,kita harus meninggal kn org yg kita syg...walaupun berat hati ini utk menerima hakikat itu,namun kita tetap perlu pasrah dgn lumrah kehidupan...setiap pertemuan yg pasti berakhir dgn perpisahan...walaupun ianya mungkin sementara bg sesetengah org...tp..ajal maut d tgn Tuhan,,,siapa thu mungkin,mungkin besok pg aku tidak bernafas lg..bukan aku pinta tp ianya cuma andainya...hanya untuk mengingatkn ttg kekuasaan-Nya yg bisa menghentikan denyutan nadi kita pda bila2 masa yg Dia inginkn..dan kita manusia perlu pasrah dgn kehendak-Nya...

berbalik pd apa yg cuba aku luahkn d sini...sayu,berat dan tidak pernah juga tidak boleh aku tipu yg ak 'cool' dgn apa yg bakal terjadi besok,lusa,tulat...semua akn mula menuju hala tuju masing2...menyambung pelajaran pd peringkat yg lebih tinggi demi mengejar cita2 dan impian masing2...aku pasti..semua pasti akan merasa sedih dan kehilangan..tp demi menjadi insan yg berguna d masa akn datang semua perlu cekalkan minda,tabahkan hati masing2..jujur aku katakn di sini...mungkin semasa reunion td aku bisa ketawa dgn hilaian yg kelakar...senyum yg kuukir lebar sekali...semua nmpak sempurna..tiada masalah...tiada kesedihan..tetapi,jujur ku katakn..hanya Tuhan yg tahu apa yg aku fikirkan ketika itu..apa yg aku tahan ketika itu..perlukah aku nyatakan di sini perasaanku??aku pasti,setiap manusia faham apa yg aku alami ketika itu..

kadang kala aku seperti sukar menerima kenyataan bahawa semua akn pergi mmbawa diri masing2 melanjutkan pelajaran ke institusi pengajian tinggi...sedangkn ianya masih segar d dalam memori aku..cuma seperti semalam..seperti baru semalam aku masuk ke tingkatan satu,,ketakutan menemuhi alam sekolah menengah,,,tangis aku sendirian tika d tapak perhimpunan hari pertama d hentikan oleh sapaan sahabatku dri sekolah rendah..masa berlalu silih berganti,aku membesar dgn teman2 seperjuanganku...menduduki peperiksaan PMR dan akhirnya SPM dan kini....semua sudah meningkat dewasa..meninggalkan alam persekolahan dan memasuki alam baru...bukan lg d gelar pelajar sekolah tetapi mahasiswadan mahasiswi..sungguh sukar untuk dipercayai..lalu.jamuan yg diadakn pd 8 mei 09 diharapkan mmberi kenangan indah antara kita semua dan pertemuan itu dapat menyuntik semangat utk meneruskan perjuangan untuk menuju destinasi kita...

Aku berharap kita dapat bertemu lg di masa akan datang...semoga tiada apa2 yg memutuskan perhubungan kita..

p/s:sape yg nk tukar fon number bgtaw la dulu baru tukar..baru la xlost contact....!!!!selamat berjaya

exciting!!!excited!!

2009-05-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

i'm excited cuz few hours from now we'll b having a farewell party..its jua a party b4 everybody leaves me!!or me leaving them or vice versa...i'll juz hope that it will b the best party 4 da moment b4 we held another reunion after every1 gets back or even married...lol...well,i hope it'll turn out well n every1 show up so dat we'll have everything organized accordingly...i love all my friends!!!i want 2 c them b4 they all blah..hahaha

i'm still me n being me!!

2009-05-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

wat i'm trying 2 say here is i'm being myself n i love being myself..i know sometimes people would say something bad about me or thought about me wrongly..but still as far as i know i'm not going overboard..and what more i'm trying 2 say is don't judge a book by it's cover..like me..juz becoz i'm like dis it doesn't mean i'm lika dat..n other people,juz becoz they're like this doesn't mean that they like that..i hate it when my dad tell me dat please take care of our dignity..our family..my brother's,my sis n him..hye..he dont even know wats my favourite food..like hello.u call urself s a FATHER??Talk 2 the hand...juz becoz i didnt cover my head it doesn't mean i'm bad.n those girls who covers their head it doesn't mean that they're gud gurls..i've seen by my very own eyes wat hey did ing the cinema..duh..talk 2 my nails if people thinks that gulr who wears tudung r gud n those who didn't r bad..i dont care wat people want to say boul this post..i'm juz being myself...i know its a must 2 wear it but still if i wear it juz becoz other people ask me 2..there's no point..i can say dat i'll juz b some1 hypocryte..but u know wat,i'm not...juz let me deal with the time...i'll change slowly..everything needs time...so do i...once i'm ready..i'll b watever i want...people tend 2 change as they grow up..so do i...so,wat i'm trying 2 say here is never ever ever never judge a book by its cover..dat is so unfair...u need 2 give a chance 2 know dat some1 better..4 me its juz not fair 4 wat my dad think wat i might do..if i wanna b bad,i cud have done it a long time ago..4 wat reason??cuz i'm owez home alone..n 4 wat reason i didn't do it,coz i'm not like dat...

i'm worried..

2009-05-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

setelah aku mengetahui arah tuju hidupku.kini ku mula meragui keputusan yg telah aku buat..bila berjauhan daripada keluarga,bagaimana hidupku ini agaknya..tatkala aku mendengar rintihan hujan,hati kecilku turut berdetik...apakah dugaan yang bakal aku tempuhi di masa hadapan kelak..aku pasti,aku pasti akan diduga dengan pelbagai macam godaan duniawi sepanjang aku berjauhan dengan keluarga.ibuku juga pasti risau.namun aku berharap agar aku tabah terus berada di jalan yang benar dan semoga aku sentiasa ingat tujuan utamaku ke sana adalah untuk menimba ilmu.arghhh..aku tidak faham dengan perasaanku ini..becampur aduk...kegembiraan yg menyerlah kerana aku telah bertemu dengan seorang rakan seperjuangan yang sama kerenah seperti aku,juga timbul perasaan takut dihanyutkan dengan kegembiraan di dunia walaupun aku tahu niat keberedaanku di sana..tapi aku tahu faktor yang agak penting ialah pemilihan kawan..kriteria kawan yg aku akan cari dan aku xkan peduli....

Yang Akan Aku Cari.

pasti manusia yang tidak suka meninggalkan solat
manusia yang tahu tentang adat pergaulan
manusia yang tahu masa bila perlu berada di rumah
manusia yang rajin membuat assignment
manusia yang menepati masa
manusia yang memahami diriku dan menerima kegilaanku seadanya
manusia yang cerewet untuk kebaikan
manusia yang tidak suka membuang masa
manusia yang berani menegur kesalahan manusia lain
manusia yang penuh dengan nilai setia kawan.

Yang Aku Xkan Peduli

perlukah aku listkan semula semuanya kepada anda??rasanya xwajar la kerana sifat2 manusia yang xkan aku peduli hanya dilawankan dgn sifat manusia yang aku cari...jadiiiii...........

LU FIKIRLAH SENDIRI....

sebenarnya perkara yang pasti paling penting ialah 'BERDOA' kepada-Nya...

adil dan tidak adil...which one??

2009-05-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

kadang kala aku fikir hidup ni tidak adil...pernah sekali aku berasa marah terhadap-Nya.. tp setelah aku renung kembali,rupanya aku masih bertuah...kerna ada yg diduga dgn keperitan yg lebih pahit utk d telan..sekarang aku pasrah dgn takdir aku...walaupun demikian,aku rasa,manusia sendiri yg menjadikan hidup ni x adil...contohnya ada org yg patut aku syg tp aku benci aku kenali...yg membuatkan aku rasa hidup ni tiada keadilannya...tanggungjawab yg patut dilaksanakan tidak pernah semurna...bukan aku mengatakan aku seorang yg smpurna tp dlm hidup aku,dia menyebabkn aku tidak pernah merasai kesempurnaan...adakala aku menangis sendirian..aku rasakan aku lemah..lalu aku tegarkan fikiran bahawa inilah cara Allah menduga ketakwaan ku terhadap-Nya...dalam ketegaran ku masih timbul rasa ragu2...adakah aku akn brjaya mmpetahankan hak aku??kerana kalau aku x dpt mmpertahankannya kini,kemungkinan besar d masa hadapan aku bakal mghadapi masalah...mgkin org yg mengenali aku tahu ape yg aku merepek kt cni..xterasa cm nk menceritakan ttg sume private life aku plak kan..nti ade plak yg fkir bkn2...tp x pe...4get all dat...hmmm..xpela..aku rasa aku cuma perlu tawakal dan berserah je...tp aku kena usaha jgk.ini demi masa depan aku dan adik aku...perjuangan menuntut hak aku dan adik aku baru bermula dan aku xkan menyerah sebelum berperang...itu bukan aku dan aku xkan pernah jd begitu..insya-Allah...

WINNER NEVER QUIT,
QUITTER NEVER WIN......

Renung-renungkan...

HAPPY???OR NOT??

2009-05-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

i'm happy n i'm not but still i have 2 b grateful with watever fated 4 me...but watever it is..i hope i made the ryte choice...cuz this is about my future....i got a goal n i must go 4 it....i'm kinda excited about it..n CONCERN 2...cuz u know...once we got freedom we never know wat will happen 2 us...dats wat i've been thinking about lately which is quite bothering me....hmmmm.....

Nak Buat Macam Mana...

2009-05-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

maybe 4 those who knows wat i did recently,they'll understand...but 4 those who dont,i'd rather keep it as a secret juz between those who knows,me n Allah...2 b honest..im kinda heart broken but it seems 2 me dat this happened 4 a reason...4 me 2 concentrate more on my study...dont get me wrong...its not about love...but its about something else dat i really wish i can b...but i wont give up n i will still look forward 4 da apportunities dat will come around in da future...wait 4 d stronger me..i will go 4 watever i wish 4 with no turning back n staying beautiful with myself,powerful with my effort,unregretful with my act n grateful with watever i'll get....

BEAUTIFUL,POWERFUL,UNREGRETFUL N THANKFUL..

THESE ARE WAT I HOLD IN MY LIFE IN WATEVER I DID...

WHO THE HELL HE THINK HE IS???!!!

2009-04-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

I really F***** him up 2 days ago..what the hell is he thinking??he came 2 my house all of d sudden without notice...n keep on forcing me of doing things dat i dont want 2..!!!Came uninvited,and forcing people to do things dat they dont want to..!!F*** HIM!!!!!
GO TO HELL!!!He makes me hates him even more which is worse...cuz once i hate some1,there will be no mercy!!i'll hate him 4EVER!!!u dont want 2 mess with IMAN cuz if she blows up,u're nothing but a PATHETIC LOSER!!trust me...u dont believe this???Try me..without asking me 2 be his GF n all of d sudden he can say dat i'm his GF???!!!
WTF!!!TO HELL WITH HIM!n accusing me dat im playing with his heart??!!!hello!!i dont even know dis guy!!shameless!!!

2009-04-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

sometimes i hatie it but sometimes i like it..i like d attention but sometimes wen some1 is giving 2 much attention 2 u it will b irritating...i feel like i dont want 2 know him anymore...regret of knowing him...regret of being close with him n regret of everything,...i wanted 2 turn back but i'm worried if he might think i'm being arrogant be4 i even b some1 which is well known...hurmmm.....

love

2009-02-13T05:13:00.001-08:00

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy powerDost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle, hour;Who hast by waning grown, and therein show'stThy lovers withering as thy sweet self grow'st;If Nature, sovereign mistress over wrack,As thou goest onwards, still will pluck thee back,She keeps thee to this purpose, that her skillMay time disgrace and wretched minutes kill.Yet fear her, O thou minion of her pleasure!She may detain, but not still keep, her treasure:Her audit, though delay'd, answer'd must be,And her quietus is to render thee.

hmmm...

2009-01-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

everyday,i stare at da window and wonder wat will these day b like..
i mean wen i'm facing d big campus life...will i b able 2 cope with d changes??
will i b able 2 push away all d seductin??
m i strong enough..???m i going 2 b spoil or eat myself??2 eat n 2 b eaten..??which 1 do i prefer??
or do u prefer??
i guess all we need is a strong faith in ourselves..
our virtue..keep everything 2gether while facing the real world...
da rest,dont forget 2 ask from Him...hope He will guide me throughout my life..
i'm afraid i might slip from d right path..
not saying im perfect but...so far..
i ca say ALHAMDULILLAH...

my life

2009-01-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

2nyte i spent my nyte at my frens house.she showed me my foster bro's blog..
omg..its so touching..even my ral bro never say@promise me such thing..
i really appreciate it n him..!!he's always there 4 me..i always tell him how i feel..how my life is,n he alway listen..he's been a gud listener..
very gud listener 4 me...
dats y i loe him n i will always love him n CARE 4 him n watever he's doing..
juz hope he know his limit...