another day

Another day has passed and yet it felt like a year..having things to do but not outdoors make me feel more tired then usual but mentally of course.having kinda a dilemma basically bout everything.the presentation,the class dinner and everything..wanted everything to end by this week.fellow friends please understand.i'm not as rich as you guys so i hope you guys put a little consideration in it about me having to go back and forth from Penang to Malacca within one days because i have a trial that i have to attend.its a long journey and not to mention expensive just for a one way trip.be grateful for being born into a rich family.i'm not mumbling here but i'm asking for you guys to understand.

we had our schedule so lets stick with it.we suppose to have everything settled before study week but we are fortunate to have a kind lecture who gave us more time to let us procrastinate more..yes..the time given by the lecturers are ample but some of us failed to follow it.but think of the consequence.you had drag other people together with the trouble that you had cause.have a pity to others.don't be selfish.i know that it is impossible for my classmate to read this but i just wanted to express my feeling.this is my way of expressing it.thank you. :)

Its been a while

Wow its been a while since my last post.walaupun jarang sekali aku meng"update" blog aku,aku masih tidak melupakannya..dah banyak yang aku lalui..bende yang kita sangka indah tapi semuanya palsu belaka..sememangnya dunia ini penuh dgn kepalsuan namun bukan semuanya tidak berguna.Tapi aku tetap bersyukur dan berterima kasih kerana sesungguhnya apa yang aku lalui di zaman kampus ini cuma sesuatu yang ringan..walaupun ianya agak berat pada mulanya,alah bisa tegal biasa dah aku sudah tidak merasakan lagi bebannya..

aku percaya, apa yang aku lalui harini cumalah 10% daripada apa yang akan aku lalui di luar sana(dunia bekerja). sekurang-kurangnya aku tahu bagaimana rasanya dan bagaimana untuk mengatasinya..walaupun cara yang aku gunakan tidaklah "brilliant" tetapi aku tidak bertindak membabi buta.terima kasih aku ucapkan kepada segelintir manusia yang sudi membantu aku mengharungi saat pahit ini.sesungguhnya hanya Allah yang mampu membalas jasa baik kalian.aku minta maaf kerana aku tahu aku banyak menyusahkan kalian.

perempuan memang merupakan makhluk Allah yang kompeks.perkara sekecil-kecil kuman mampu meruntuhkan persahabatan yang seudah lama terjalin.walaupun aku x tahu apa yang telah aku buat.ditanya tidak berjawab, ditegur tidak diendah.bila memberontak barulah disapa. jadi apa yang harus aku buat?aku teruskan dengan pemberontakan yang sudah aku rancang dan teruskan hidup seperti biasa.walaupun terpaksa bermasam muka.lebih baik begitu daripada aku sendiri yang merana.

aku puas hati dengan tindakan aku walaupun terpaksa kehilangan seorang sahabat.tetapi walaupun beliau berkata beliau tidak mempunyai apa2 masalah denganku,siapa mampu bertahan jika serumah namun tidak bertegur sapa untuk sekian lama.sudah terlalu lama aku menanggung siksa bersendirian,sudah tiba masanya untuk aku mengambil tindakan.satu nasihat yang aku ingin berikan kepada kalian pembaca yang masih belajar.sekiranya anda ingin tinggal bersama budak kelas anda terutama sekali perempuan,pastikan anda betul2 kenal dgn mereka sebelum anda tinggal bersama mereka.kerana jika lama kelamaan,keadaan akan berubah.kalau pada mulanya anda tinggal dgn org lain,kemudian anda ingin berpindah,pastikan anda kenal dan teramatlah tahu baik dan buruk rakan anda itu..kalau lelaki xmengapa kerana pemikiran lelaki lain daripada wanita.memang wanita ni kompleks kerana bukan saya seorang saaja yang mengalami benda yang sama tetapi agak ramai yang senasib dengan saya.

sampai di sini sahaja nukilan saya pada kali ini.panjang umur saya menulis lagi,anda membaca lagi..thank u for spending ur time reading..assalamualaikum..

thank you.

Sorry..

Sorry cuz I didn’t know that it is so hard for u just to ask “how r u. Are u still mad at me? Don’t be ok? Settle down please. I miss you. ”

I know and I’m glad that ur cool. Unlike other people’s boyfriend who easily gets jealous but sometimes it makes me wonder do u really love me. Cuz u doesn’t seem to be bothered at all when I went out or talk on the phone with other guy. I’m not asking u to be jealous but at least show some concern to me. Let me know that u care and love me.

U know that I am mad at u but ur acting like nothing’s wrong. Act cool that’s what u always said. The way ur acting as if I am talking to u but ur ignoring it. Im not really talking to u but ur not a moron till u couldn’t understand that im angry. What is so hard with that? Sometimes when ur acting strange in the car when ur tired. I asked u are u ok? Cant u see? I just don’t understand.

U r the most incredible I’ve ever met. Not just incredible by ur personality, responsibility, ability but also ur behavior. Ur so incredible in ignoring my feeling that’s how I feel. Thank you for making me happy and also thank you for making me angry. It may be small matter for you,but I did this dozens of time and everything is kept for so long and now its exploding. This is how I feel when I gather back all the angriness that u cause and u didn’t try to solve. Thank you.

Don’t you understand?

Why does everytime i’m annoyed by you, you never bother to even ask why. I know you know how i’m feeling but why are you purposely act like nothing happen. Is it that hard just to ask why. I know you do not want to make things worse by bringing it up again but that makes me feel even worse. Sometimes i feel like neither my feeling or emotion is your concern. You may say that you’re acting cool but to me that is not cool at all. You make me feel angrier each time you act like you did nothing wrong.

I’m not being ridiculous but ur acting ridiculous. You always take things lightly. You never bother to take it to a deeper conversation. Have you forgetten the first song that i ever dedicated to you? I didn’t dedicate that song to you on purpose. You should read the lyric throughly. There are things that i want you to do through that song. Deeper conversation. What does that mean to you? I wanted you to always tell me everything that you feel, you think and i want you to ask. Take me there. Sometimes i feel like i wanna to turn back the time. To those old days where we were just getting together. You are so concern and hyper-sweet. Unlike now.i admit that you rare sweet sometimes but that is occasionally. I wanna to have the old you. Where are you. I need you.

Don’t you ever see nor understand?

apalah erti ini..

Kadang-kadang aku x faham dengan lelaki. Adakah memang lumrah sewaktu baru berpacaran, semuanya indah tapi bila dah lama, kemanisan itu hilang? Kalau kita hendak mengekalkan hubungan kita, bukankah kita patut buang pemikiran yang sebegitu. Kadang-kala aku rasa cinta ini ibarat habis madu sepah dibuang. Mungkin ada yang kekal hingga ke akhirnya. Jika begitu Alhamdulillah tapi tidak kurang juga pada yang manisnya hilang di tengah jalan. Kalau waktu dulu boleh digelar “stalker” kerana selalu mengambil tahu perkembangan orang yang kita suka tapi sekarang “wall post” yang ada satu perkataan pun susah nak balas. Kenapa perlu jadi begitu.

Adakah terlalu susah untuk memahami apa yang difikirkan oleh kami kaum wanita. Kami wanita Cuma ingin menceriakan perhubungan. Kadang-kala suka bermanja. Kadang-kala suka bergurau senda. Tapi hati ini sering dilukai kerana tidak diberi perhatian dan tumpuan oleh pasangan. Kalau boleh, dalam 100% aktiviti seharian, 101% ingin aku laungkan bersama insan yang aku cinta. Tapi kenapa lelaki tidak merasakan benda yang sama. Apa yang mereka fikir cuma tidur, berseronok bersama kawan-kawan dan benda lain. Mungkin aku tiada tannggungjawab yang harus aku laksanakan sepertimu. Tapi sekurang-kurangnya, bila berpeluang meluangkan masa bersama, ambillah kesempatan itu untuk membuat pasanganmu gembira. Walaupun pertemuan hanya seketika, walaupun hanya 10minit, cubalah jadikan 10minit itu antara 10minit yang paling bermakna dalam hidup pasanganmu.

Kami kaum wanita tidak meminta wang ringgit untuk dibelanja, cukuplah sekadar berbual di depan rumah walaupun seketika. Mungkin kita tidak berpeluang berbuat demikian, jadi gunakanlah masa yang ada untuk bertemu dan manggembirakan hari pasanganmu itu dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Bukan hanya sekadar berjumpa. Masa berkualiti, perbualan berkualiti, aktiviti berkualiti yang dapat mengeratkan lagi kasih sayang antara orang yang kita kasihi.

Jika kau punya masa untuk berjumpa dengan aku, sekadar duduk di hadapan rumah dan dapat menatap wajahmu, itu sudah memadai. Sekiranya setelah kau membaca nukilan ini, kau ingin berjumpa dan hanya duduk dihadapan rumah, aku tidak akan memarahimu kerana bagiku itu sudah cukup.

Cuba kau fikir kembali waktu dulu, aku sering ke Kuala Lumpur sekiranya aku tidak punya kerja. Andai aku masih boleh berbuat demikian sekarang, kau tidak perlu mengeluh penat memandu untuk datng berjumpa aku kerana biarlah aku sendiri yang datang kepadamu. Pedulikan apa yang orang kata. Aku tegila-gilakanmu atau apa sekalipun, aku tidak peduli kerana di dalam hati ini hanya Allah saja mengerti betapa dalamnya cintaku terhadapmu.

MOTHER=IBU=MAK=MOM

MY MOM..what i can say about my mom is that she speaks/nags/advice/tell story a lot with me n my siblings...she a great woman..says and night,she never know what is the meaning of tired.its never in her vocabulary.every single day, she'll wake up early in the morning, bathed my lil bro n sis..sent them off to school and came back home doing laundry,cook,housework including sweeps the floor.she did it everyday..my mom has a very strange but good type of doing her housework..when she cooks,she wont spill anything,carefully does everything to keep the kitchen clean.when she did her laundry, she will organize the color accordingly.if i hung it wrongly, she will take it out and put i where it should be..lol.when she sweeps the floor, she damped the edge of the broom to ensure nothing flies in the air and she'll use a piece of wet cloth to pick up the dirt.my mom..that her way..she did everything her own way.when i enter her house, i'll b very careful not to make any mess..there's hardly any dust..MY MOM..that's her..u see, what so great about her is that she is so great..Allah knows how great my mom is..what she's doing right now is a fight for us.a noble fight that has nothing to do with her or its not her problem to care about but she's in it.she's going back and forth for us..the fuel money and everything is put aside she she just does everything that she think is right..i love u mom if ur reading this..please don't cry in front of me..i can't see u crying..i just cant..its too painful to see u crying..may Allah always be next to u..

sacrifices part 1.

today i spent the whole day with my love one..he did something stupid but funny..i was talking bout he hasn't gave me any surprise since we know each other till now..he always tells me what he's going to give me,buy 4 me and everything..its nice but sometimes the element of surprise is needed..lol..its not really a big deal...anyway, after that we walked and then we were in front of the S&J shop.then he told me that he's going into that shop,get me Shaun the sheep and he's going to surprise me..that is very silly but he really did that..i can see him from the outside..i was waiting and waiting till he come over and BAMM!! SURPRISE!! its silly but its rather sweet..thank u honey..he knows i was in the most critical stage of life so he tried he's best to make me smile 24/7..my fees was first paid by him..i said no..there is no need but he said back to me,its ok 4 him 2 do this now rather than in the future..it means i study now and settle everything now.thats what matter..my problem,he's my ear..he sacrifices a lot just 4 me...i'm thankful that i found him and that i'm with him.. thank u Allah..U closed 1 window but U gave me a door..